Free Million Dollars… yeah, right!

Everyone gets these money scam emails (often from Nigeria), but this one was so creative, so over-the-top, so… so COLORFUL, I just had to share it. I appreciated how hard these crooks worked to get my personal details. Note how the United Nations (or, United Nation, if you prefer) has both a gmail address and an AOL account:

UN MoneyPhotographs! Seals! Signatures! Logos! Reference Numbers! (You’ve always gotta have a few of those, right?) And colors… I know this email is legit. I mean, blue, red and green all in the same email?!

And I really appreciated UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon taking the time to write me personally and to wish me God’s blessings, besides! I know he’s a busy guy, what with those six-month-long meetings and now, having to oversee giving away all that money. Whew!

Now, why is it that the contact person for all these give-aways seems to be a Reverend? (Wait. Don’t answer that.) Anyway, it inspires my trust. But why doesn’t Rev. Martins Jonathan (or is that Jonathan Martins?) have a UN or a World Bank email? For that matter, why doesn’t the United Nation(s) use their own domain? I guess they were early adopters and keep the AOL account out of loyalty or because of a long relationship. And now they’re so hip as to have gmail, too. Hmmm… now that you mention it, I think I’m going to circle their G+ account.

I had questions about some of this, but my confidence was restored when I see that Rev. JM (MJ?)’s email domain “” calls this up:

AccountantSurely there’s some mistake. I know the United Nation(s)’s duly ordained Representative Agent In Africa wouldn’t use a flaky domain for his email. But whether this money thing works out or not, for sure I’m going to write the good reverend, just to be friends, you know?

And even if I was suspicious (and of course I’m not!), I read at the bottom that I’m bound by the Electronic Communications Act, and I cannot disclose this private, eyes-only email. Geeze, I hope I don’t get in trouble for writing this blog.

But the guy I really want to meet is that Asia/Australia President! I’m sure he (or she) would be a fascinating person with a lot of power and influence. Of course a lot of Asian heads of state will be surprised to learn about this hemisphere-wide leader, and 22 million Australians, the framers of the Aussie constitution, and newly-installed Prime Minister Kevin Rudd will be disturbed to learn that Australia now has a president. That just doesn’t seem right.

But the United Nation(s) would know… and anyway, it’s all “to make the world a better place.”


About Bill Davis

Writer, speaker and translation and language learning consultant. I write technical articles, poetry and humor, and I am working on my first novel which is set on the island of Palawan in the Philippines.
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3 Responses to Free Million Dollars… yeah, right!

  1. Don says:

    You know when you’re cruising along at a fair clip in your car and you don’t see a speed bump so you slam over it way too fast? That’s what reading spelling and obvious grammar mistakes feels like to me while I’m cruising through a sentence.

    Reading this email was like driving through a retaining wall. Several in fact. And then turning around and coming back.

  2. Whaaaa? You mean that money I’m waiting for from the United Nation (which one, by the way?) is not coming?

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