Capture the Flag in Montana
Okay, this post about Montana is a shameless ploy to lure in a viewer from (guess where?) Montana. I figure if I include enough mentions of “Montana,” Google just might help me out, you know?
You see, back on February 7 I installed Flag Counter on my blog. Now, I have not been obsessing about checking my flag/view stats. Of course not! But I do happen to know that since then, I have had site views from precisely 107 different countries (including Croatia, Latvia, and Saint Vincent & the Grenadines). And I have had views from 49 of the 50 states.
49. Only 49.
As I sat under the BIG SKY of the COUNTRY of the Philippines, I wondered, “Who is the holdout?” Well, it turns out that it’s the people of Montana.
Yep. Montana is the one state where no one has stepped up and fulfilled their duty by viewing my blog.
Montana residents may be too busy staring at vistas like this ranch.
But that’s no excuse!
Montana’s Many Wonders
Montana has many claims to fame (see my Map and Helpful Travel Guide, above). For one, my favorite humor blogger, Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half, hails from Montana (she hails from there… but I think the sky also hails there, that is, when it’s not busy snowing.)
Here’s meteorological proof (from Google, not Wikipedia, so you know it’s true):
Montana Climate Summary
Montana State Climate Data: …… 7 3 = THUNDER SNOW, ICE PELLETS, HAIL 4 = ICE PELLETS TOTAL MONTH: 7.2 INCHES 5 = HAIL GRTST 24HR 5.5 ON 6- …
Where was I? Oh yeah, Hyperbole and a Half. Allie gives us a helpful Survival Guide to Living In Rural Montana. Here is one bit of great information she provides:
Living in rural Montana is a lot like being duct-taped inside a refrigerator box with a bear. It’s dangerous. However, there are some steps you can take to ensure your survival. In rural Montana, I mean. Not the one with the bear in the box. That’s probably going to be fatal no matter what.
Montana is also where most of the dental floss in America comes from. I know this because I had Frank Zappa records in the 70s, with songs such are this:
I might be movin’ to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of dental floss
Raisin’ it up
Waxin’ it down
In a little white box
I can sell uptown
I always found that song so… moving.
We also know from this excellent, lyrical source that dental floss
ranchers er, tycoons up in Montana ride pygmy ponies.
And then of course, there’s Hannah Montana.
Just One Click
So come on, folks.
Would someone from Montana please view my site and help me capture this flag?
Maybe you know someone from Montana and can give them a call for me.
Or… if it’s not too much to ask, and you’re not too far from the Montana border, I mean, I hate to trouble you, but would you consider driving over and getting online?
Montana. It’ll only take a second…
…and I’m pretty sure they have internet there.